Hello and welcome back to TheBalancedRose.com! I’ve been wanting to get my blog back up and running for a while now and I couldn’t be more excited that it’s finally up! I can’t believe my last post was from April of last year, although around that time I was finishing up my senior year of college and getting ready to transition to graduate school. That was quite a busy time in my life.
Since I’ve been away so long I thought I would share a little about me and how I got started on my journey. So, here goes…
Growing up, I ate like every other kid; I had pb and fluff sandwiches, capri sun juice boxes, and mac n’ cheese regularly. I wasn’t a heavy kid by any means, but I always felt fluffier compared to other girls. This feeling stayed constant even as I got older and was moving on through high school. I started becoming very aware of what I was eating right around my senior year of high school. I brought my own lunch every day and I stuck to the recommended portion sizes. A lunch I frequently brought was pepperoni, a cheese stick, and precisely the exact number of crackers the box suggests according to the serving size.
As I was preparing to go to college, I remember what I was most excited about was having a gym so close by that I could walk to, as well as a salad bar in the dining hall because I was determined to “finally get in shape and feel confident.” One restrictive year later and a year full of binging and self loathing following that, my lovely boyfriend bought me The Body Book by Cameron Diaz and it seriously changed my life.
I absorbed the material on each page like a sponge. I began to look at food in a different way; before, I looked at it as the bane of my existence, I was depriving myself and therefore that would send me on a worse binging spiral. After reading the book, I learned to honor my hunger, be kind to myself and gentle with my body, and look at food as the fuel that powers each of my mighty little cells. (You can read more about my experience with The Body Book in an article I wrote here.) It was after I read The Body Book that I began my instagram account, initially Rose in the Kitchen, and now The Balanced Rose. I also discovered that I finally knew where my passions lie, in helping people through nourishment and nutrition.
Since then, I’ve been up and down over the course of my journey with self-acceptance and self-love. Something that I constantly have to remind myself is: progress is NOT linear. I have come so far from where I once was. I couldn’t have gotten to a place where I generally feel happy with my body if it wasn’t for my amazing counselor I had when I was in undergrad, my boyfriend and supportive parents/family, my experiences throughout undergrad, especially the Vagina Monologue’s, the wonderful instagram community, as well as CrossFit and my CrossFit community.
Since moving back home from college and beginning my masters program, the community at my CrossFit box has truly become my family. It is my absolute favorite part of my day, and it has truly transformed how I view my body and myself. I have gained so much mental strength and mental fortitude and have accomplished so many things that I never thought I could do. I never thought that one day I would be doing pull-ups, handstand push-ups, deadlifting 200+ pounds, and cleaning 20lbs shy of my body weight. How amazing is that?!
After reading this, you might think I have it all figured out. Truth is, I don’t. I still struggle, and that’s completely OKAY. Since graduation, I’ve had a tough time regarding regarding my relationship with food and my body. I fell back into tracking calories at one point as well as restrictive habits, however I am actively working on myself and every day that I am mindful and remember that the shape of my body and how I eat does not define my worth is a huge step forward. I am so much stronger now than I was when I began this journey, and that’s what matters. Below are a few photos of people who have truly made an unchangeable impact on me and have always reminded me to believe in myself.
Thank you for reading, my friends, I appreciate every single on of you! I plan to have more things to come for this blog. Please let me know via email, instagram, or in the comments below if there is anything specific you’d like to see from me!